Don't Miss
“The problem with people, when it comes down to it, that behind all the smoke and mirrors, they’re still people, and that’s not always a good thing.”
“The only thing I worry about on Tinder is their pictures. One duck-face pic okay, but once it’s more than that… get the fuck outta here. I’d fuck their mom instead.”
“There is no limit to my shallowness. And I tell people that. It’s not listening or believing me that causes all the problems.”
“She has huge tits. I just want to hug em, not caress them.”
“We’re not awful people, we just ran out of fucks to give way before most other people do.”
“Here’s the problem with participation awards; people that dropped out of high school participated, didn’t get shit, and don’t get one, your kid that finished 28th of 31st in the sack race definitely doesn’t need one.”
“She sharted on my chest and it looked like an ink blot test that they give crazy people. I was so mad I could have sucked a dick.”
“Gravy could be a meal, in and of itself.”
“How do the crazy ex-girlfriends have radar? Oh you’re single for less than 8 minutes and… a text.”
“Her tits are so big that they’re causing my saliva to have tides.”
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If I Need Help I Really Will Ask!
We, for the most part, appreciate if you want to help, but really… If we need help, we will ask for it. A plethora of...
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Can You Match My Pay?
Yeah, I mean when you only make fake money at your fake job, I guess it can still add up.
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Double-Order Solution.
If someone double-orders with another bartender they should have to leave, or put on a t-shirt that says “I’m too fucking stupid to order.” It’ll...
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Always Look on the Bright Side.
Well, this one one way to look on the bright side. With that said, I definitely do not want to know what the patio looked...
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These Guests Have Their Priorities Straight!
You’ve really got to love guests who have their priorities in order. The first person rescued should be the bartender… Okay, maybe the bride goes first....
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The Humanitarian Award Goes to…
From a page member: So, these two well-dressed middle-aged men are drinking Captain and Cokes. Other side of the bar, two hookers.. The previous man...
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People Suck.
It’s the things like this that people don’t understand. We deal with it. We clean it up. We try to explain it to our owners,...
