“Hey How Are You?”

I know it bothers a lot of people, and it never even used to phase me until The Facebook Page came along, but the

“Hey how are you?”

“Bud light.”

Or whatever they ask for, the one I just got that caused this tonight was

“Ice water.”

Which I replied, “Nice to know you’re doing ice water, what can I get you to drink?”

For me, I don’t appreciate it, but it’s like thank you for making my job a little easier, it’s like they’re telling me –

I’m a cunt. An ugly, incestuous cunt. (Guys can be cunts too.) I show so little respect for you, that I don’t pay any attention to what you need. I’m miserable because my spouse stays out all night fucking cows. Actual cows, because they’re both better looking, and thinner than I am… And because I’m a cunt.

Now, the second I need something else, I’ll try and flag you down. Why? Because I’m stupid, and a cunt. I was raised by stupid cunts, I’ll raise stupid cunts.

So, in short, just get to me when you can, because it’s not like I’ll leave you more than 8%, if I leave you anything at all.

Stay Angry.
Make Money.
Enjoy your water you cunty, ugly, stupid fucking bitch-wrinkle.


  1. What I particularly enjoy about these cunts is if you came in to their place of business, say a herpes emporium or a porcine brothel, and dealt with them in the same way you’d be subjected to a guttural ranting with noises that sound like respect & manners.
    I like to remind myself that as a shitty waste of DNA these cunts are, you know deep down, they hate themselves more than you could ever hate them

  2. Happened to me last weekend. I GET A 15 top, pretty much all drinking. I’m greeting them with:
    “Hi guys, welcome to *business name*…”
    Random Guy: Dogfish.
    His Daughter: Dad, he’s not even done introducing himself. Don’t be an ass.
    Me (As the daughter is reprimanding her dad): Well sir, two things. I’m not finished, so you’ll have to wait until I am. And I’ll know what type of Dogfish you’d like, cause that’s a brewery, not a beer.

    Turns out he wants Dogfish 60 minute. Well when I grab him the bottle, he got mad at me because it wasn’t on draft. When the draft list was literally sitting right in front of his stupid face.

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