Tonight I got the:
Asshole: “Whiskey coke, more whiskey than coke.”
Me: “So you want a double?”
Asshole: “How much is a double.”
I tell them. Twice as much as a single. Yes, I know some places do a discount on a double. Guess what? We’re not some places, and all places do not do that. Live a little, go find out for yourself, and more importantly, just get over it.
Asshole: “No, just a single, but make it, you know…”
Me: “No. I don’t.”
Then he winks.
I can’t imagine using ‘the wink’ in this situation has ever worked.
Anyhow, I’m now going to state that if you give ‘the wink’, it’s now the universal sign for “please give me less than I hope for, much like my salary and cock size.”
Edit: A few people complained about this. I’m not saying that if you have a small cock it 100% means you’re a poor tipper. I am saying if you give the wink expecting something for nothing, or had a complaint about this story, then you probably do have a small cock, or oversized clitoris, are a poor tipper, and are likely hated by most of your family.