“My problem is I’m never my type’s type”.
The best no-hesitation, quick-fire comeback I’ve heard in a while. At my bar – Girl: You’d be really hot if you were taller. Guy: You’d be really pretty if you had a different face.
Coworker: I can’t find this woman’s tab? Me: Which? Coworker: The one with the soup? Me: I haven’t served soup. Coworker: Her over there -points at a table- Me: That’s a salad… Coworker: Holy fuck, […]
“Shake shots, not babies.”
Reason 393 that I don’t “just pour drinks”… Whatever job you do, you probably have never dealt with as many of your best friends, belligerently drunk, looking for their keys that you’ve hid. Because there’s […]
“Listen, you seem nice, but I don’t like people. I only come here because of the alcohol.”