Conversations

  • “I want a gin and juice!”

    Conversations at a bar when everyone is either behind the bar, or sitting at it but you normally work behind it: “Okay, you come up...

  • “I wax my ass because it saves me on wiping time.”

    Guy: “I wax my ass because it saves me on wiping time.” Me: WTF?Guy: Yeah… No hair to grab nuggets…Me: We can no longer be...

  • The Real Reason Bartenders Drink!

    “Why am I off tomorrow? Who else is off tomorrow?” “I dunno, all our friends are bartenders… So we all work!” “This is bullshit! I...

  • If You Don’t Tip And You’re Industry…

    “If you don’t tip.. Yeah, it happens. Some people are cheap. Some ignorant. Whatever. If you work in the industry, and you don’t tip. You’re...

  • I Flirty Poorly… But It’s Effective.

    Conversations behind a bar: “I’m like a middle school boy when it comes to flirting with guys.” “So…. like, you throw things at them?” “Yea,...

  • I Slept Wrong.

    “I slept wrong or something… I have no feeling in the fingers in my hand.” “Just go finger-blast yourself tonight… It’ll feel like someone else...

  • Did That Kid Just Tip You?

    “Did that kid tip you?” “Yes, 50 cents on a soda.” “It’s bad when a 6-year-old tips better than a group of guys.”

  • I Need A Healthy Shot.

    “Guess what shot I just made.” “…” “Guess what shot I just made.” “This is the face I make when I don’t want to guess...

  • The 80’s Girl

    “Why does that chick look like she belongs in a Motley Crüe or Poison video?” “Because she does. I’m pretty sure she’s still taking quaaludes...