Stories

  • The Whole Night.

    This is way too close too home. Either someone has no clue how to order, or someone doesn’t understand sarcasm, or someone doesn’t want me...

  • Future Bartender?

    Future bartender… Maybe future serial killer. I mean, it’s a very, very similar skill set.

  • “That’s sales tax, sir.”

    I’d like to make an edit to the saying “Two guarantees in life, death and taxes.” “Three guarantees in life: Death, taxes and morons in...

  • Sure, I’ll Be There 15 Minutes After Close.

    Last night’s favorite conversation. The place I work in is a small bar in Berlin, Germany and completely packed. A customer walks up to the...

  • Handled Like A Champ.

      I had a guy drink a beer out of a bottle until there was probably only backwash in the bottom of the bottle. It...

  • The Scratch Mojito.

    Why yes I can, I’ll just go out back, plant some mint and grow it for you. It’ll be ready sometimes after you go and...

  • He Didn’t See You.

    Lets face it, we’re probably all going to hell for much worse things than saying this.

  • This Goes a Long Way.

    It really is people like this that not only make dealing with “less human” humans bearable, but really makes it all okay and this crazy...

  • The Star of Shit Show.

    I used to say when you were drunk the real you comes out. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong. Things like this give me some...

  • “I don’t want this shit anyway!”

    When people try and bring in outside food or drink, I’ve actually said “do you bring McDonalds into Burger King?” And sometimes, it’s like, no...

  • Just Fucking Went for Gold.

    Well since it has been a trending topic I will share with you my favorite piss story. I rolled into a local dive after work...

  • So Brave.

    If he only had the guts to say it to her face. I bet he Yelps too.

  • You’ve Must Post for Pictures.

    Who does not understand that if you pee your pants you have to leave? Oh, the same guy that poses for pictures after he does.

  • Stupid Questions?

    A lot of people said that they charge too little for stupid questions. Honestly, if they charged more, a lot of people wouldn’t be able...

  • My Landlord Doesn’t Accept Bibles.

    I wonder how much it’ll be worth in ten years if we deposit it into savings account…

  • A Present for the Opener.

    I left this for our opener. I’m probably in a lot of trouble when I get in today.

  • Flyerball?

    I mean… They offered to give him a new one. I mean, a little extra protein… I guess…

  • The Human Embodiment of a Windowless Van.

      So I had a human embodiment of a windowless van order a drink and instead of a tip he told me I did such...