Terms

Bartner:

This term normally refers to your favorite co-worker behind the bar. You both know each others styles and moods and techniques and work with and around each other perfectly. This term can also be used to simply refer to the co-worker at the time of the story we are telling, though we try and reserve it for our co-worker of choice.

 

Douche-Canoe (DC):

A simple play on words we love to use to describe some of the “less-than-pleasant” customers we come across in our daily interactions. A canoe is a boat that can tip easily and a douche can’t do anything well accept piss people off, so different DC’s will have varying traits that annoy us… but one thing all DC’s have in common are that they don’t tip.

 

Regular:

A regular, as to be used on our page, is a term we will use as someone who frequents our workplace that we wouldn’t hide from if we saw them out in public. Though everyone has qualities about them we like and dislike, we do consider this person a friend and seeing them walk into your bar is uplifting. If you saw a regular out at a bar, one of you would send the other over a beer or drink and the other would counter with a shot. These are the people that help us get through those days.

 

Incidental:

Basically put, the Anti-Regular. Your butt-hole puckers when this person walks into your bar. Even co-workers who have mastered the “Happy-Work-Face” falter when they see these people walk in. Though they may tip you $1 on a $3 beer (and they will act like that $1 will solve all your problems)… once their tab hits $10, their tip will never exceed 10%… and usually settles around the 8% mark. They believe you are friends with them, but ignore the fact that you and your Bartner draw straws to see who has the misfortune of waiting on them. They tend to find and hang out with other Incidentals, though they secretly hate each other and tell you this as soon as the other walks away. They are a test. They are a scourge or rash we must endure to reap the benefits of our jobs.

 

Unicorn:

A person who belongs to a group of people who are generally considered poor tippers (Ex. Europeans or Hipsters) that tips (at least and consistently) 20%. They are well-mannered, intelligent and tend to restore some of your faith in humanity. A mythical creature, that some claim to have seen, but no solid evidence exists to prove it.

 

Leprechaun:

Almost always a service-industry worker. Their bar/restaurant closes before yours, so they come in later in the night, usually towards the end of your shift, and always tip like money is a disease that they can give away to you… The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 

Spoils of War:

It can refer to a few things, but in the end it’s all free. Usually either a mistake in the kitchen that the bar staff is allowed to share, or fight to the death over.  It may also include a take-out order that was paid for, but never picked up or any drinks that were paid for, and left untouched… if you’re brave enough to drink them.

 

FDH:

An FDH.

You know, the girl who comes in and tries to get every guy in the place to buy her drinks for her.

She’s an FDH, and you should say to your bartner, “An FDH just walked in.”

Free Drink Hoe.